Dating is Like Sales for These 7 ReasonsApril 5, 2021
Lots of people I coach don’t want to come off as “obnoxious” in dating. Nobody wants to be that guy who won’t take no for an answer, or that girl who keeps calling. But at the same time, you gotta be careful, because you do need to be a little persistent sometimes when it comes to love and romance. Because honestly, dating is like sales — in so many ways.
My partner and I both have sales backgrounds. We’re also in the dating business, so we naturally see this connection. Let me put it this way: Once you see how being “salesy” can actually help you in dating, you’ll wonder why you didn’t try some of these techniques before.
In this article, you’ll learn how to improve your sales smarts so you can win over the best prospects in love. We’ll look at your mindset, behaviors, and beliefs. Are you ready?
7 Reasons Why Dating is Like Sales
Take a look below at some of the reasons why dating is like sales, and find out how to use this knowledge to your advantage.
1. You have to be confident.
Putting yourself out there is hard, so confidence is key. Here’s one example of what I mean.
A successful salesperson knows that in business, you can’t give the customer a way out. You want to make sure they know you deliver the best of the best.
The same should apply in dating but often doesn’t. Too many times, for example, I hear guys tell me how they ask women out, and they leave way too many loopholes:
“We should go out sometime… if you’re not busy”
“I’d love to grab a coffee… if it’s not too weird that we’re co-workers”
“Let’s get a bite to eat… whenever your daughter’s with her dad”
Never give someone a reason to say no to you.
This makes you seem like you lack confidence, which is an attraction-killer, especially if you’re a guy. Instead, be direct. See this article about how to ask someone out for a drink with zero room for confusion.
Once you build your confidence, you won’t be so scared to ask for what you want, because you’ll have thick skin. Here are some more examples of what confidence looks like in dating:
— Being persistent when asking for a date
— Following up on your messages when you don’t get a reply
— Handling their objection to your date idea or when they try to flake
— Anticipating the objection beforehand (ex: Assuming they might be lactose intolerant when you go to pitch your ice cream date can help you win the date by giving you enough time to research whether that date location has dairy-free options.)
Bottom line, confidence speaks volumes. When you believe that you’re the best candidate for the person you’re dating, they’ll feel that confidence come through.
2. Dating is like sales because it’s a numbers game.
Do you drag your feet when it comes to sending out messages on dating apps?
Often salespeople prefer to get a “no” upfront so they know when to move on. That makes them aggressive about finding leads and going after them. In dating, though, people often feel like they need to be in a positive or flirty mood in order to message. This leads to excuse-making and not sending any messages at all.
A lot of people, guys especially, focus so much on creating the perfect message that they don’t actually send out enough messages. They wind up in analysis paralysis. In the meantime, all their friends are dating, getting into relationships, and getting married.
The same is true for the in-person approach. If you get stuck in your head about what to say when you approach someone you’re attracted to, chances are high you never will.
So, reach out to as many prospects as you can, even if most of them say no or don’t respond. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. You can’t just wait to find someone “perfect” and then craft a message to just that person. It will take you forever. Work the numbers.
3. You must have a full funnel of prospects.
Going off the previous idea, salespeople know that you can’t rely on just one prospect at a time. If you do this in sales, you won’t be able to pay the bills if they reject you.
The same is true in dating. That’s why I tell people to MegaDate.
MegaDating is the practice of dating as many people as you can in a short period of time. You might set a goal — say, 20 dates in 3 months. After those 20 dates, even if you haven’t found “the one,” you build an insane amount of confidence. Your dating skills get stronger. And you have a much better idea of what you want in a partner after meeting so many people. People who MegaDate are much less anxious about dating, more positive, better skilled, and hyper-focused. You need these tools if you want to succeed in dating.
4. Rejection happens and you get used to it.
In sales, as in dating, you need to have thick skin to win. Rejection becomes a daily occurrence when you’re messaging 10 people a day to fill up your dating funnel. Sometimes, those rejections ain’t pretty but you have to be able to face the uncomfortable feelings that come along with rejection.
5. You have to know how to pitch your date idea.
In sales, you have to market your product. Clever language and visuals can really showcase the value of what you’re selling. You have to make your audience see how the product would improve their lives. They also have to believe that the product’s value is in direct proportion to the amount they’ll pay. And, you have to explain what makes your product different from all of your competitors.
The same is true in dating. You have to differentiate yourself and your date idea from your competition. A beautiful woman, for instance, has many options for how to spend her time. You have to make yours the best by pitching your date idea in a way that makes it sound like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That’s another reason why dating is like sales.
To do this, pay attention to what she likes and craft your date idea around that. Tell her why it would be an awesome experience, and — this is the most important part — give her a time, date, and location (TDL).
Here’s one example of a date idea for a woman who says she likes tequila:
“Have you been to Azucar Lounge?” [Wait for her response.] “They make this special drink called a Cazuelas and it’s served with a Mexican skull. It’s epic. I’m going to be there Saturday at 7 p.m. Wanna join me?”
6. Storyselling works wonders.
The folks at We Are Marketing had the right idea when they said that “storyselling” captivates customers. And it can captivate your potential dates, too.
Storyselling is when you use the art of storytelling to help you connect to someone else. This makes you persuasive. Stories are powerful because our brains are wired to remember them better than facts.
So when you’re selling the idea of going on a date, or on why you and someone else might be a good match, don’t just say that outright. Tell a story that illustrates it.
According to We Are Marketing, good storyselling technique has four components:
1. The “hero” of the story is the person you’re speaking to.
2. The story takes place in a context that the listener is familiar with, so you build trust.
3. There’s a crux, or a main problem, that needs solving.
4. The problem gets solved at the end in a way that relates back to the value of what you’re selling.
A good story can really “sell” you to someone else, which is another reason dating is like sales. Read up on storyselling and make it a part of your dating strategy.
7. You have to know when to walk away.
Sometimes, it’s just not a fit. In sales, it’s important to know when a potential prospect is not qualified to work with you.
The same is true in dating. There are many instances when a woman you’re going after will not be qualified to date you, and that’s when you need to let her go. Men who aren’t able to do this end up in toxic relationships that destroy their confidence, waste their time, and often end up costing them big in divorce and ugly settlements.
You gotta know when a match isn’t right for you and let her go gracefully. If you need help knowing how to do this, don’t worry. My team and I can help. Our matchmaking, one-on-one coaching, and group coaching programs are designed to show you how to attract your best prospects — and often this is by recognizing the wrong ones.
There’s no reason to keep using the same old dating approaches, or even seeing people you’re not that excited about, if you know there’s a better option. Reach out to us today for an intro call to get started down a new path!
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